and in your teeth, you’ll find enlightenment

After avoiding it for over 10 years, I’m finally having my wisdom teeth removed tomorrow. I don’t know what it is about this whole ordeal I find so terrifying — I don’t have a problem with the dentist and have breezed through many minor-major dental/orthodontic procedures with little trouble. Okay, so maybe the crazy coconut cream pie addiction I picked up while I had braces — getting those wires tightened is no joke! — was a bit disconcerting. But it ended as quickly as it began when my braces came off (and when my San Francisco pie pusher, Bepples Pies, closed its doors…what a sad day that was).

I think I’m afraid of the general anesthesia (a first for me) and I know I’m afraid of the subsequent pain, the tales of which have become legendary thanks to everyone I know having some story of dry socket or TMJ or another equally horrific sounding mouth malady. But maybe, just maybe, I’m suffering from the Samson syndrome. Is there a corner of my brain that believes I will come out of my post-surgery haze with markedly less wisdom than when I went in? Do those insanely long wisdom tooth roots hold some as-of-yet untapped enlightenment that I would be loathe to forgo?

Not likely. But the image from this cheesy 1996 made-for-TV version of Samson and Delilah starring Dennis Hopper and Elizabeth Hurley has done much to put my mind at ease. I mean, if the gorgeous Elizabeth Hurley can survive starring in what looks like a stinker of Biblical proportions, than surely I can survive having a couple of teeth pulled, right?

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